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Thursday, 5 January 2017

Happy January 5th, 2017!

Last time I blogged I weighed 213.4. I made plans for a 2 week challenge, and I actually stuck to most of the things I challenged myself to for the 2 weeks. I was good with what I ate. I did a pretty good job with the water and the steps. I worked on saying nice things to myself while I put lotion on my body. I even got quite a bit done on that never ending "to do" list. I didn't blog, but my goal was pretty loosy goosy on that one.

So for 2 weeks I did quite well I'd say... and I lost (drum roll please...) 1-half pound! That's correct. 0.5 lbs. O.K. so I was on a plateau, I had lost almost 30 lbs all together mind you. Plateaus are normal, natural and to be expected. Yes I knew they happen, Yes I knew that it's a common occurrence, maybe even scientifically necessary. Yes I knew all this but that didn't stop me from being thrown for a loop. Or rather allowing myself to throw myself for a loop. I was disheartened! I want results and I want them now!! It's not like I have never heard the expressions "slow and steady wins the race," or "it's a marathon not a sprint." Sure I knew all this but it didn't stop me from becoming frustrated and hopeless. So I kind of said "screw it." I stopped making an effort to get those steps in, or drink the water, or work on the 'to do' list. My couch became more appealing than my treadmill and I started to coast. Interestingly this time I didn't say screw it and eat everything in sight. I was kind of still watching what I was eating, not diligently, but it was on my mind. I didn't want to gain the weight I had already lost but I certainly wasn't "working at it." A strange thing happened. I really didn't gain weight back. I didn't lose any more, but I didn't really gain. I was still weighing myself everyday and that was motivation enough for me to keep things between the lines, so to speak. I just danced around the 212.9 lb mark for a couple months. I made it through Halloween and didn't gorge myself on candy, even though there was tons around here. I made it through November, and December. I was staying where I was all the way through Christmas. It was a miracle! I was pretty pleased with myself for only gaining about 1.5 lbs in the couple months I had just been coasting.

Then an interesting thing happened, We had to have our Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve this year because I'm a divorced Mom. My family and extended family was here for our dinner on Christmas Eve. I made all the usual dishes, I didn't overindulge at all, food wise or otherwise, it was a successful day. My kid and I hung out on Christmas Eve after the extended family left. Christmas morning we got up and opened our stockings then I had to drop the kiddo at my ex's at noon. My family did come back for our traditional Boxing Day lunch of leftovers, (on Christmas Day this year.) We visited and played games, but everyone left about 7.

Then BAM!! A black cloud of sadness, loneliness and self pity descended on me like the lead vest they put on you when you are having an x-ray. In my delusional state I felt like the only thing that would make me feel better was to eat. I had tons of chocolates and nuts and cookies and baking in the house before Christmas and I didn't eat even one thing, I honestly didn't want it, but on Christmas Day, and every day since then, I have been eating like I may never eat again. I'm not really even sure how it's physically possible, but in the past 12 days I have gained 5.6 lbs. Now maybe some of that is water since I have been eating a lot of salty nuts, but still. Wow.

I guess the up side is that unlike other times in  my life when I've lost weight, then lost my way, I didn't wait until I gained all the weight back, or a huge chunk of it back, to get back on track. I need to count the fact that I am ready to put a stop to this foolishness now at 5.6 lbs,  as a victory.

So here we go, again...

I've got a few things coming up this spring and summer that I really would like to be looking and feeling good at. (Not to mention I have the rest of my life that I would really like to be looking and feeling good at.) First thing is the 3rd week in March, approximately 10 weeks away. It would be great to be 30 lbs lighter by then, lol, hell it would be nice to be at my goal of 75 lbs down by then, but neither of those things are going to happen so I am going to do my best and work for somewhere between 10 - 20 lbs down by then. The next big thing is at the end of May, 20 weeks away, after that it's the end of June, 25 weeks away. Then first week in July, 26 weeks away. I can't predict how much weight I'll lose but I can say that I am going to do my best to keep my eye on the prize so when each of these events come I will be able to say that I did the best that I could.

Jan 5, 2017 - 220.0 lbs.

Another long post, but I think it helps me. Maybe it helps you too, to fall asleep, haha. Glad to be of service. ;)

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there, chica! The world is your oyster. I have faith in you.