So today is Valentine's Day. What do you all think of the "holiday?" Personally I like it when I am in love, but not so much if I'm not, which come to think of it, hasn't been for a lot of years now.
That brings me to my next point, I think I am getting ready to consider starting to date. There is a significant problem, well several really, but the first one is where do I meet said men to date? My work has me working alone, not that dating where you work is always a good idea mind you. Pretty much all my friends are married, or in the "don't need a man, don't want a man, ever again," stage. I guess I could go and troll grocery stores and hardware stores, but seriously, what kind of result will that bring me? I could put a profile on a dating site. I know people that have met good people there, I actually have a cousin that met a man on a dating site and they got married. Honestly, I think this is probably the best option. This brings me to my next problem/obstacle. A huge part of me thinks I should be at my potential, physically, mentally, and career wise before I put myself out there. I mean I don't feel as confident as I would if I was 40 lbs lighter, and had a job I'm proud of. But do I really want to put my life on hold until summer, which is when I hope to have lost these 40 lbs by? Middle of July sounds like a long way away though... Mind you how long has my life been on hold already, what's a few more months? O.k. I've talked myself into waiting, mind you summer means shorts, and skirts, and short or no sleeves... so much nicer to hide under the bulk of winter clothes. Lol.
I want to be clear that I don't need a man, I am not desperate for a man, and I won't settle for an o.k. man. I know if I am not happy with me, no man will make me happy, but what I am is lonely. I want some emotional intimacy, (and oh my gosh... physical too!!) So where does that leave me? Maybe I should set a weight and decide that is when I will put a profile on a site. Maybe not my goal weight but how about 10 or 20 lbs from it? That way I would be close, and I can get my feet wet, so to speak, there will be no swimming dates, trust me. Mind you a walk in the rain would be fine. Plus the excitement of dating might be the boost I need if the last lbs don't want to leave me.
Hmmm what to do, what to do? I think that is it. I think when I weigh 159 I will put a profile on a dating site and see what happens. I think my final goal weight is 139. Wii says my optimum weight is 132, but I think I'm going to be good at 139, time will tell.
K, thanks for "listening."
In case you are wondering, I haven't been doing as well with my goals as I would like. I need to get more proactive with that. I have been doing well with the weight stuff, well not the walking, I spend the last 5 days sitting literally all day in bleachers watching sporting events, but the calories have been where I want them. It's the other stuff that I haven't been doing as well as I would like. I'll write all that down somewhere where I can see it daily and work on that more consistently.
I hope you all enjoy the day, whether there is a sweetie in the picture or not... I just decided I'm going to spend the whole day telling myself how much I love me!!