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Sunday, 3 April 2011

Rewind and Fast Forward

As I mentioned in February of 2005 my brother in law was killed suddenly in a car accident. It was shocking, horrible and reminded me how fragile and fickle life is. That event along with others made me decide that I needed to change my life.
I worked at getting fit everyday by really evaluating everything I was eating, doing 20 minutes of Pilate's at least 5 days a week, and getting enough sleep. I wasn’t monitoring my weight. I actually didn’t weight myself at all, but my clothes were no longer fitting, and within several months I went from size 3X to 2X to 1X, then XL. I was feeling really good about myself, maybe for the first time in my life.  I could see my body change, I could do things that I couldn’t do for years. I have to say that I was happy. I felt like maybe my relationship with my husband was changing too.
WARNING: Adult material to follow, you might want to skip to the next paragraph if you don’t want to have TMI about my relationship with my husband. My husband and I were always quite sexual. Even when I was at my largest, we were still physically intimate at least a few times a week. This is something that most of my friends don’t understand, but even when we didn’t really like each other much, we were coming together to have sex. Well once I started to feel better about myself, the times we were physically intimate increased. I have to admit I hoped that once I lost weight our relationship would improve, and the cheating would stop, but because our relationship was so damaged, and we never had good communication the relationship didn’t improve.
In August of 2005 my Mother in law was diagnosed with cancer. This, of course, was another horrible blow to the family. We all felt sure that she would beat it, and she was very positive. In Sept my husband, myself and our child went out to see her before she started her treatments. I felt good about how I looked, I was significantly smaller than I was when I was there in Feb. Lots of people commented and that was satisfying.
I am so sad to say that my Mother in law died in December of 2005. She was a woman with a good heart; she loved all her children so much and was very good at showing it. From the first time she met me she was kind and welcoming. She talked to everyone she met, (she did love to talk...lol) and made everyone feel like she had known them for years. She was a really good woman. Even though when she died I had been  with her son for 20 years, because she lived so far away, I am sorry to say that I didn’t know her as well as I would have liked. I know that she went through so much in her life, and with the exception of when her son, (my brother in law) died, which would be too much for all mothers to bear, she always managed to stay positive and happy.  I admired that so much. Of course I still think of her often and miss her.
Her passing away 4 months after being diagnosed was such a shocking thing, and so sad. It helped to fuel my desire to be healthy though. She was fairly young and I had my child much later in life than she had her children, so I knew I had to do all that was within my control to stay healthy and be around as long as possible for my child.
In the early summer of 2006 we got a dog. I was walking her every day for at least 30 mins. Quite often I would actually walk her 2 times a day. I believe that walking is the magic bullet. Once I added walking to the other things I was doing the weight came off faster. Everything got more toned. Being outside was my good for my mental health, and even though there were and still are days I don’t feel like going, it is so very important to my overall fitness, not to mention my dogs.
By the late summer of 2007 I had lost 90 lbs. I weighed 154 lbs and I felt and looked so good!! I was wearing a size 10 and M for most cloths. I felt sexy, and pretty, and fit, and proud! I was wearing short skirts and jeans again, and my legs and butt were toned. My arms had definition, my stomach was flat. I was within 10 lbs of what I had decided would be my goal. Within 10 lbs of hitting the 100 lbs lost mark.
I had done it by doing Pilate's most days, walking every day, and watching and really evaluating what I was eating. Yes it had taken a few years, but I didn’t care. I felt like it was the best way to lose the weight for long term success and I was so happy with my accomplishment.
I stayed right around 154, up a few lbs, then back down a few, for 7 months. I felt like I had this. I was in control. I knew that I was never going to have a weight problem ever again. Maybe I was too confident, I don’t know, but life threw me a loop.